The Story of the 2012 Eagles Told in Terms of Rocket Failures

I haven’t posted anything in a while as I’ve been hard at work on  the next book and find that between work, 3 kids, writing, and occasionally trying to do something else, I am not able to write here all that often.  The 2012 Eagles, though, have inspired me to write something as I watch their soul-crushing march to another underwhelming season.  In watching the Eagles implode in spectacular fashion on Thursday Night Football against the Bengals, I was reminded of something – big fiery explosions and moments of embarrassment that cost millions of dollars.

As I watched, I was inspired to create this meme:

Eagles Meme

But, that doesn’t quite do this season justice.  So without further preamble, I present you with this: The 2012 Philadelphia Eagles in terms of rocket launch failures.

Failure to Clear the Launch Pad

The team has worked hard, putting lots of effort into the latest project.  Everyone is excited, full of anticipation for the journey that’s about to begin.  And then, the entire project goes up in a cloud of smoke and never leaves the launch pad.

We’ll call this…

the Bryce Brown.

Failure of the Guidance System

In other cases, your team is working on a development project.  It’s going to take time and effort to get things working, but there’s lots of potential and the long term payoff could be great.  Then, you finally cut the cord and unleash your project on the real world – only to watch it come crashing back to Earth in spectacular fashion.

We’ll call this…

A Nick Foles.

Rocket Explodes in Mid-Air

Sometimes, the rocket gets off the pad, clears the tower, and is rocketing toward space!  Everyone gets excited because something great is about to happen!  And then, BOOM! Your hopes and dreams are so much debris in a field.

We’ll call this…

A JeremyMaclin.

Missing the Target

Some rockets are intended to actually hit targets and defend us from the enemy.  A missile missing its target and hitting the wrong target can have disastrous consequences.

[If anyone has a better video of a missile missing its target, please pass it on.]

We’ll call this…

A Kurt Coleman.

Failure of a Reliable Rocket System


Some rockets are around for decades and function reliably.  You trust them; they do their job well.  Then, inexplicably they suffer a complete and total failure.  Maybe it had something to do with an upgrade or maybe the engineers behind it became complacent.

We’ll call this…

An Andy Reid.

Sigh.

 

Update:

I had one major omission in the original post –

Failure Due to Orbital Collision

Sometimes your team’s hard work and dedication pays off, and and your rocket’s liftoff is glorious.  Your rocket reaches orbit as intended and everyone is happy.  Then, your blind-sided by a piece of orbital debris and the energy from the resultant collision is enough to tear both spacecraft to bits.  All your left with is a burning desire to throttle the team responsible for leaving their space junk in your orbital path.

We’ll call this…

A Mike Vick.  Although Brent Celek and LeSean McCoy are also candidates.